The Porch by Carter

(See entry here for what this is)

I see trees some small, some tall.  They’re all green, bright green. The trees are the same color as the grass.

On the porch where I am sitting, there is a tub full of water, inside the tub full of water there is some Coke, and beer.  There was a party here before we arrived.  There are three chairs and two outdoor couches.  I feel the fabric of the couch on my legs.  I don’t feel every individual stitch though.  It feels sort of scratchy, but not scratchy enough to be irritating.  There’s also a round table on the porch with five dining room chairs.  On the table there’s an oil lamp, a basket of bread, and a pepper grinder.  We ate at this table last night and it made me feel relaxed.  Behind me there are some small, purple flowers in a planter box.  I can’t smell the flowers because my nose is clogged.  It seems like my nose is always clogged.

Across the lawn Bennett and Aunt Elsie are talking to each other about who knows what.  On one tree I see five birdhouses are hanging.  Two birdhouses are pink, one is yellow, and another one is blue. The last one’s white, but they are all empty.

At the bottom of the yard, there is a line of evergreen trees and then a lot of cars.  The cars are there because of the swimming pool that’s just out of my sight.  Occasionally some kids with pool toys and swimming suits walk by in the far away parking lot.

I hear lots of kids from the pool.  There’s shouting and yelling.  It sort of makes me feel like I want to be with them.  I also feel very hot because the temperature is at 80 degrees.  I think they’re playing a baseball game down there because I hear a bat hitting something and I hear “get it, get it” and “I got it” and “throw it to me.”  I feel tired because last night I was up until 10:00 and I got up at 7:00.  I got up at 7:00 because I wanted to read on my Kindle.

It really is a great and comfortable place to be out here on Aunt Elsie’s and Uncle Al’s back porch in Washington, Pennsylvania.

9 thoughts on “The Porch by Carter

  1. Carter–this is great! That porch sounds like a very comfortable, relaxing place to be. I love all the details, especially the auditory ones–sounds of kids playing in a pool are very distinctive, aren’t they? Super job!


  2. Wow, Carter. This is fantastic!
    Your descriptive narrative makes me feel Iike I’m right there with you relaxing on Uncle Al’s and Aunt Elsie’s porch, and I don’t even know them. I don’t think I’ve even ever stopped in Pennsylvania… but it feels like a comfortable and welcoming place thanks to your writing. I especially enjoy how you express what you’re feeling and not just what your seeing or hearing.
    Very well done, my friend! (now come home so we can make some of these stories sitting on our own porches in Portland. The sun is out & clouds have left. Birds are chirping and flitting around in the trees scouting for bugs. Nate is swinging on the rope swing in the backyard. I smell a neighbor warming up their BBQ, it seems to be coming from the direction of the Ptak’s home – is that the Flaxel’s or maybe the Kime’s? mmmmmm…. 🙂
    You’ve inspired me Carter!


  3. Carter, hello. and good morning. I am reading your post after breakfast here in Alaska. Carter, this is a fine piece of writing, it flowed almost like a movie. I felt like I was watching (and listening to your narration) the opening scenes where the camera first pans wide to encompass a broader picture, then zooms in and deliberately focuses on specific items…the tub, a couch, pepper grinder, flowers, and people, setting the stage for a larger powerful story.
    I appreciated the way you contrasted the number of birdhouses with no birds. I felt your brief desire to go play with the other kids, and related to the annoyance of constantly clogged nose (mine is either clogged, or drips, it can’t find its happy place). Carter, you have a gift. Your writing style reminds of the author Norman Maclean. His most noted work is A River Runs Through It. Love, Aunt Theresa


  4. Carter, I loved reading your essay, especially since I sat on that same porch with your Uncle Dick a number of years ago and it was exactly the way you described. Thank you for making my memory of that time even more vivid. With love, Aunt Sally


  5. Carter, I truly enjoy your writing. When you write, I feel like I’m transported to a new place with you, and I’m able to see, feel and smell the experience along with you. I also like how you blend telling the reader how you feel along with your descriptive writing. Please write more!
    Love, Mrs. Taylor


  6. Very detailed Carter.your writing has been getting much better since you left hopefully Mrs.Parra reads this entree (sadly Nathaniel went to a different school in March.)
    Not much to say, sorry!

    -love Cole


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